Writing and me

Journal

I had a realization about my writing just this week. I am writing too fast in order to get the 500 words in. I am not taking time to go slowly enough to polish sentences, to say things with more clarity and in an interesting way. Instead I am hurtling forward to get in the 500 words. So I have decided to slow down and take more time over what I write. I took a wring class a couple of years ago and the teacher suggested then that I slow down,

Since I hunt and peck, I have to have me head down to watch the keyboard, my neck gets stiff very soon. That is another reason I write fast so as to get the words in before my neck screams for relaxation.

I still do not have a book I want to write. I have written a great deal about church, state, sex, homosexuality etc. that I do not think I have much else to say or write without a lot of research. For instance, I have a quite good overview of my theological and ethical views. They are probably 100 pages. To make them into a book, I’d have to research other positions, refute or agree with them. I really do not want to go into the research mode.

I have written so many things that need copy editing and organizing. But that is not what I like or want to do. I am also not so very anxious to publish a book or get my ideas out there much more than they are now. I often think I should hire and editor and just pay to have it done. I don’t really want to spend our money doing that. But I don’t see any publisher taking my radical views as saleable. I look at what the churchy publishing houses put out; I just don’t see anything like what I write about. In many ways Bishop Spong has written much like I have and has already had it published. I don’t have any drive in me to do it.

I also do not feel very interested in sharing my ideas and thoughts about religion with the clergy on my list. I don’t get a lot of response to my writing. There are few places for dialogue or discussion. I think the drift of the diocese seen in the last clergy conference is not of much interest to me. I do not think my views on things are interesting to the leadership of the church and I find I am presently not enthusiastic about the future of the church.

I want to continue to write. I have even thought of turning to poetry where I have to write much more slowly and thoughtfully. The quality of the words and ideas are more important that the quantity.

I have some short-term items to occupy my mind and time. Leigh is coming to visit October 27-29; Sarah may come at Christmas time. I want to put up some more shelves in the basement to clear up the mess by the garage door opening.

I am enjoying cooking more complex menus. I have thought of selling my collection of books of the female form, watching more quality TV and have the feeling right now of wanting not so much of slowing down but of re-focusing what I am doing these days. My relationship with Ann is wonderful so I am blessed with her in my life.