SECRETS KILL

To the Christian Century

Katherine Willis Pershey keeps her marriage vows by sharing with her husband that she is attracted to another man. She worked out her platonic relationship with the cooperation of her husband. (A Long Obedience, January 21, 2014.) When I did pre-marital counseling before performing a wedding, I had a section entitled, How to Stay Faithful. Couples must learn early to be open and honest with each other in all things like sex, money and feelings about the in-laws.

Secrets kill; the more secrets one has in a relationship, the more danger there is to lie and dissemble. I urge the couple to tell each other about their previous sex lives, their fantasies and dreams about people to whom they feel attracted.  When couples start early being open and honest about their lives, a man may be ready to talk to his wife about being attracted to another person. Then they can set boundaries to the platonic relationship and avoid adultery.