IS MY LIFE WORTH LIVING?
I am asking the question, “What is the meaning of my life at 90 3/4 years old.” I have arthritic pain, poor balance, impaired hearing and eyesight. I take a dozen pills a day, plus vitamins. I take CBD gels and Tylenol to relieve arthritic pain.
Is my life really over? Is it worth living longer?
I have a glorious wife who loves and cares for me. My daughters and grandchildren are loving and caring. My many friends are attentive and supporting. We have warm comfortable home, plenty of money and healthy food and booze. I can read, watch good TV movies, exercise and entertain, exercise and walk.
I have fought the good fights for peace, justice for blacks, LGBTs, women and abortion. I served the Episcopal Church and members of my parishes. Baptized the babies, taught the faith, administered the sacraments, counselled the troubled and buried the dead.
I really have no complaints. The thoughts about the meaning of my life just swim into my consciousness. I am not suicidal. (Terrible coward) I have everything to live for.
New home, moving away somewhere, another cruise, buy more toys, all come to mind but are immediately rejected. More outward stimuli are not the answer. The answer lies within.
I am a Christian Existentialist. I am a follower of Jesus and I accept what is. I live each day questioning, with no clear answers. In fact there are none.
It is like being a pacifist. I know wars will never cease, but I will always be against war. I accept what is.
Oh, well on to wash the pans from last night’s dinner.
posted by RWC | 10:56 AM
2 Comments:
To be the elder of a family is very "meaning-full." We develop the meaning of our lives as we progress through it, by our thoughts, decisions, actions, words (spoken and written), and by something more ineffable: presence. In old age all these things we have stood for and against, all our work, actions, loves, and causes are embodied in our presence. This quiet being-ness affects our families, our communities and our societies, our countries, and our world. A wise and kind and well-spoken human being, such as yourself, need not "do" anything to be of value as an elder. The fact of you and the wisdom you reflect radiate outward to all, sets a standard, a marker on the Way, for other travelers. As Ghandi wrote, "My life IS my message." Carry on, Robert Cromey, and hold your place.
Your accomplishments have paved a way and opened many doors. THAT is important. We met in 1965 when I was a staff member at Intersection under Rev Laird Sutton. I was a semi-active Mormon priests who started Vanguard to demonstrate for equal Treatment,acceptance and to end discrimination. I considered it as a spiritual act to actua.ize the self, whereas people seemed to consider it to be a political act. Rev Sutton suggested I hold Vanguard meetings at Glide instead of at Intersection. That you are a.i e today still gives voice to integrity, honor and devotion to God is a blessing, even if we are old, God bless you, Adrian Ravarour
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