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The writings of author, therapist, and priest Robert Warren Cromey.

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Friday, November 08, 2013

The Fundamental Question

The Fundamental Question

Here is a new question that must be faced by the Episcopal Church.

An Episcopal Bishop has issued a pastoral directive to a gay married priest in her diocese. She says you must have sex only with your husband.

Presumably, this is the vow straight people make when they marry. “To keep thee only unto her…”  Is that really supposed to refer to homosexual people also?

The homosexual world including clergy have had a different culture for thousands of years since, they were illegals and also forbidden to marry. Some LGBT people today think they should marry with the same agreement of single monogamy as straight people.  Other LGBT people have lived in a culture that condones partners to be sexual with others where there is mutual agreement to do so. To be clear, many partners mutually agree to allow their partners and themselves to be sexual with others.

The traditional straight Christians vow to strict monogamy was to ensure that the children born of the woman were the legitimate offspring of the husband. This had to do with inheritance of estates, money and lines of authority for royalty. It had nothing to do with the solidity, moral or sexual purity of the relationship between husband and wife. Married men and women from Biblical and times immemorial have had lovers other than their spouses.

Homosexual clergy today may marry their partners. The church and the culture must go the next step in recognizing that LGBT people are not EXACTLY like straight people. Views are different when it comes to the definition of monogamy. Monogamy means the vow that “I will be with you forever AND we may choose to be with other sexual partners when there is mutual consent to do so.” Adultery is when one enters into other sexual relationships WITHOUT the other partner’s consent.

The church has entered a new world since it has allowed homosexual clergy and same sex marriages. Look at the changes we have already made. In Biblical times, polygamy was practiced among ancient Jews; think Kings Saul, David and Solomon. Today in Africa priests of the Anglican Communion have multiple wives.  I dare say that some Anglican and Episcopal Clergy engage in open marriages where with mutual permission, each partner may have sex with other partners. Blacks and whites may marry each other. We allow divorced clergy to remarry, where it was unthinkable fifty years ago.

In the 1920s the Episcopal General Convention decried birth control. In the 1930s the church said it was a responsible action for married people. Abortion is now approved under strict circumstances. Homosexuals are now free to be themselves, and LGBT people may marry. We need to look forward to new ways of regarding marriage.

It is interesting that the Episcopal Church has never taken a stand on pre-marital sex, sex for divorced people, sex for unmarried homosexuals or masturbation

We need to look straight in the eye the fact that homosexuals, now set free, bring cultures and differences that challenge traditional straight people’s views of what constitutes the vows in a marriage.

The Reverend Robert Warren Cromey

Robert Warren Cromey
Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved


Anonymous Michelle Schmidt said...

I think you speak the truth. When you address these issues, they seem simple in the best sense of that word. When many clergy and others address them, their take seems simplistic.

Everyone is different, and, as long as they aren't hurting anyone, not only doesn't it matter, it adds richness to our world.

I speak only for myself, but my sex life is no one's business. To quote Jimmy Durante: "Why can't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone." I suspect anyone reading this is smart enough to know Jimmy and I are talking about people who poke into other peoples' private lives--not people who offer loving, non-judgmental help recognizing that it can be refused without acrimony.

11:23 AM  
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8:39 AM  

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