Cromey Online

The writings of author, therapist, and priest Robert Warren Cromey.

Friday, September 27, 2019

MY PRAYER LIFE

My daily prayer is Thank You God through Jesus Christ:
For Ann, Daughters Leigh, Sarah and Jessica, Grandchildren Mary Charlotte, Eric, Caleb, Daniel and Catherine. Men in my daughters lives, Ben, Rich, Greg Bird, Greg Buck, David L.

For the departed: First wife Lillian, Grandson Austin, Parents Helen and Warren, Cousin Richard. Ruth and Gene, Ann’s mother and father.

I really do love these thanksgivings. They are the best part of my prayer life. They bring happy memories from the past. Warm thoughts about my mother and father. Guilt and sadness emerge too as I think of Lillian and deaths of so many loved ones. Also, the joys of the births of my daughters and grandchildren emerge. 

I do not meditate very well. I fall asleep, think of sex and when the hell will this be over.
I do not read the Bible regularly nor the daily offices. I find them boring, repetitive and irrelevant. My personality does not allow for those rote routines. However, I like my routines of three meals a day, cocktail hour, reading and writing, shopping and cooking.

I have not had a religious experience. I don’t like to pray in restaurants or in small groups or before meetings. I am embarrassed by public displays of piety.

We say grace at dinner blessing and giving thanks for the food. We include specific reference to the hungry, poor, sick, immigrants and lonely, all in the name of Jesus Christ, the Revolutionary. I hate that some might think I was a fundamentalist or a pious poop.

I do read some religious literature – Thomas Merton, Anne Lamott, Frederick Buechner, St. Francis de Sales, Rumi, St. Ignatius, Martin Luther King, Jr., The Bible etc. I like writing that roots me in the reality of God in my daily life, thoughts, causes, social, psychological and political. 

I often recite the Jesus Prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy upon me a sinner. 3X. This is apparently a Russian Orthodox pious practice. I like to recite it to myself when it pops into my head. It is a constant reminder that I am a sinner, both in the past and in the present. My glorious arrogance needs confession from time to time.

I recite the Lord’s Prayer and the Glory be… from time to time. Sometimes I say/think the opening prayer of the mass. “Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from no secrets are hid. Cleanse our hearts by the inspiration of thy Holy Spirit…”

I do regard my spiritual life as rather thin. Other people seem to do it all much better than I. But I am happy with the way it is for me. I do have tinges of “I should do it better.” I cannot think about going to a spiritual director. I pray the way I can, not the way I can’t

I do not want to develop a better discipline. I’d rather flop along as I am.

I love the Eucharist on Sundays. There I feel close to Jesus and God and the other worshipers at the table. I love the incense, hymns, organ music and a good sermon that relates to my life and values.

I have little emotional feelings about God or Jesus. They are mostly intellectual and mindful realities. I know I have connections to both. I can’t imagine being tortured or dying for my faith. I’d renounce my faith in a second if it might cause me pain or death. I also do not believe in a God who would care one way or another about my faith. I do believe in the God of love who loves me.

My Religious Experience

The closest thing to a religious experience for me was in direct action events.
I felt exhilaration, joy and fear when I went to Selma, was arrested in a sit-in in SF and stood on a weekly witness for peace for 15 years in SF. In those moments when doing something specific for social justice, I felt a “strength.” As a therapist and pastor, when a client “got it,” had a moment of insight, I felt a joy moment. In moments of deep sexual passion, my out of body experience was holy. Hearing great music, seeing divine sculpture and paintings and reading a great book, I am in awe and wonder.
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2 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

Thanks for this, Robert. I find that as I get older my prayer life gets shorter. I like the Russian Orthodox prayer and say it often.

With our new Rector and his curate, both of whom are former RCs, I find that Anglican worship has mostly departed from St Matthew's so I say the Collect for Purity often, as this and my Royal Arch Chapter would be the only times I said it.

I've also given myself permission to skip Sunday Eucharist occasionally.

I long for good preaching, as our Rector preaches like a RC--pious platitudes that do not connect with any cultural or newsworthy events outside of the liturgy. He preaches with the Bible in one hand and throwing away the newspaper in the other.

It is lovely to read your writings.

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