2023 Thanksgiving

 Thanksgiving

Saying please and thank you are among the first things we learn to say at home and then at school. It is basic to human interaction. As we grow older thank yous may seem rote and even forgotten in teen years. I have taken male friends out to lunch and not received a thank you note or email. We have given money or wedding presents to friends relatives and not received an acknowledgement. But the winter holidays are good times to sharpen our gratitude skills.

What is gratitude? It is a deeply personal and subjective experience similar to spirituality, creativity and happiness. It is appreciation for what is good in our lives, an internal feeling.

Giving thanks can be practiced as a behaviour. 

When you get a job interview whether you get the job or note, write a note of thanks to the interviewer. That person will remember you, who wrote the note and may refer you to a colleague. If you practice gratitude enough it may become natural. Say thank you when friend recommends a book. It is noticing how long a stranger stood there holding a door open for you. It is appreciating the meal a friend prepared or bought for you.

One writer said, Grateful people demonstrate higher levels of patience and tend to donate  more to charitable causes. States like compassion and gratitude affect our health, happiness and relationships.

Showing Gratitude

When we leave notes to the mail carrier or bake a pie for an ill person, we feel better about ourselves. Another writes “By practicing gratitude, you’re moving toward peace, happiness and mindfulness, and away from regret and anxiety. One shows gratitude by simply wearing a sweater given to you by your mother. Be specific in thanking someone. Thank you for listening to me this afternoon. I know how busy you are. I felt much let after our talk.

Accepting Gratitude

When you help a friend solve a computer problem. He may thank you profusely for the fix. To reply “No problem” may imply and unintended dismissiveness. But saying, I know, I am quite talented. Or, I’m so glad I can help. Maybe you help with my car problem. When she thanks you for making her a soup. You can say that I am glad you enjoyed it.

Here are some unusual items to be thankful for:

Some unscheduled time.

A doctor who actually focuses on me.

.

My hair grew back after chemo.

High powered internet.

The fact that I was not using my bathroom when the ceiling collapsed.

Gratitude and giving thanks is a basic way of life. Show me a grateful person, and I’ll show a thoughtful and mature person. One who is secure in herself and happy with himself. On the one hand it is a free and natural gift. On the other gratitude can be learned and practiced.

-Robert Warren Cromey with thanks to the November issue of Real Simple