Cromey Online

The writings of author, therapist, and priest Robert Warren Cromey.

Saturday, April 04, 2020

Sex During Virus Lock Down

For couples this is a good time to take a fresh look at your sex lives and practices. With more time together at home couples can make love more often. Perhaps try some new positions. Take more time in foreplay. 
Talking about what you’d like your partner to do or not do. Touching too hard or too softly. Having a loving gentle non-judgmental chat about sex can be a delight.
How about giving each other a full body massage with a fragrant oil or skin cream? Take a bath or shower together. Just spend more time just cuddling in bed.
For people living alone. This will be a good time to remove your clothes and take a good look in a full length mirror at your body. What do you love about your body? Look deeply and enjoy its beauty. What don’t you like about it? What can you do to improve it. Lose weight, stop smoking, use more skin lotions or go to the gym.
This is a time when you might masturbate in leisure. Take a warm shower, relax, moisturise you body with lotion. Wash away any guilt feelings you might have. Then lie down, take your time touching yourself all over. Breathe deeply. Touch your penis or clitoris, slowly and gently and then proceed then to orgasm if you wish. 
Alone in your own home, you may want to look at photos and books of nude, men and women alone or enjoying each other.
Viewing a porn film or video may enliven your erotic nature.
This is a special good time to enjoy your body and sexuality.

Thursday, March 05, 2020


The Reformation
-Diarmaid MacCulloch
(See him on Wikipedia)
Penguin Books 2005

This powerful book “should  become the definitive history of the Reformation.” We get a vivid picture of the major players of the Protestant reformation and the Counter-Reformation of the Roman Church. There is no bashing of Rome or the Protestants. They both had great faults and great wisdom.

Over sixty years ago in seminary we studied Erasmus, Luther, Zwingli and Calvin and Henry VIII. We read about the popes and the problems of the Roman Church. Reading this book brings memories, new insights and wonderful fresh biographies of the all the major figures. MacCulloch depicts the brave virtues and ghastly faults of the reformation figures.

Zwingli was a pacifist and died a warrior in a ferocious war. Luther was a great theologian but urged the Peasants Revolt ended by slaughter. Various popes sought to preserve Roman faith by massacres of perceived heretics.

There is also a discussion of the Renaissance, the reformation, humanism and science. The debates about the real presence, purgatory, indulgences, sacraments are presented fairly and often with humour.

The importance of the printing press and how information spread for the first time history. The discussions of the entanglement of religion and politics, the apocalypse, the Kingdom of God and a just society are so clear and simplified. Not simple but written in language we can understand.

There are wonderful sections on love and sex, sodomy, celibacy, manners and  the family. There is the movement toward choices in religion. We have those choices today but it was a long time coming.

Those with an interest in history, religion and society will enjoy and learn from The Reformation. It isa book to be read carefully by people willing to learn lots more about what we think we know about Catholics, Protestants, Anglicans, the Eastern Orthodox and Jewish history during these years. I realised how little I knew or even understood about those years and their affect on our lives today

I read it on my iPad because of my poor eye sight. The real book is solid and an endless resource, encyclopaedia and reference. I bought the book just to keep around and dip into.


Tuesday, March 03, 2020

Santa Cruz WEEKEND

We had a fine weekend in Santa Cruz. Sun and Sand Motel had a big room and glorious ocean view. The building  has a 1950s look that needed up grading. But it was clean and had the necessary amenities. Second floor and no elevator. No stairway light at night. A bit inconvenient but bearable. We arrived on Friday afternoon and on Saturday we took a walk-on he pier, 1/2mile out, 1/2 mile back agin. 

The pier stretches out over this portion of Santa Cruz Bay, It is solid and wide enough that cars can drive all the way and find parking. The walkway is separated from the traffic so there is little noise or smell. The fresh wind takes care of the  monoxide. Solid fences along the pier make it easy to lean over and watch swimmers and elephant seals, all brown and sleek.

We saw a dozen swimmers who are lifeguards in training splashing through the green water in their black sweat suits, hats and goggles. We chatted with some college age young people who were very friendly and informative about the swimmers and their high school and surrounding area. We were early enough so that we were not crowded by pedestrians.

Soon we came to shops selling bait and tee shirts and post cards. There are at least five restaurants all specialising in chowder, fresh fish and French fries. We soon came to the end of the pier and sat for a while watching the sea. Then we noticed the loud honking of the seals. The piper is a resting place during their migration. You a re going to ask migrating from where to where. I don’t know but I’ll bet Ann does.

There are 4 white fenced areas with 5x5 square foot holes in the pier to peer down not the squawking seals. One can see them slipping and sliding and gambolling in the waters below.

The water stretches to the horizon making us think of our cruises where the sea seems like all there is. We walked back enjoying the fresh breezes and sea smells It was only 11 am but we ate lunch anyway. Ann had a delicious multi-colored salad with greens, eggs, apple and God knows what. I had a chowder and a non-vegetarian chilli.

We lurched home to the motel for a 2 hour nap. We also had a middle Eastern lamb dinner Friday night and and in an Italian restaurant Saturday evening. Quite good.

Santa Cruz is an easy 1 1/2 hour drive down the coast from SF. We’d like to go again for quick get-a-ways a couple of times a year.

I really do not want to take long plane rides to exotic places. I do not mind staying close to SF. Palm Springs and Utah cabin are short doable flights. Going to the eat coast is a real problem for me. I suppose I’d go to funerals of close family members.

Thursday, February 27, 2020


I am not interested in the Democratic debates. Never have been. I’ll accept and vote for whomever the Democrats nominate.
For me the debates are a waste of my time. I’d rather read or watch a story on Netflix or Britbox.

Thursday, February 13, 2020


We Christians need to refuse war. Refuse to participate in war. Participate in anti-war activity. Americans in the military, those working in war-related industries can learn that all wars are futile. Christians can refuse to kill and not cooperate with United States  wars.

Saturday, November 30, 2019



Tuesday, November 26, 2019


Never too much

We can’t be thanked enough for what we do for our partners. Our partners can never be thanked enough for what they do for us. Here is a list of what we are thankful for. Sex, cooking, cleaning, caring for money, relationships with in-laws, appearance, dress, cleanliness, hair style, smell, kisses and touches and maybe more.

Love is not enough to keep a relationship going. You need to be mindful of each other’s physical, mental emotional and spiritual lives. Renew you commitments and agreements from time to time. Most of all be open and honest with each other and keep communicating -no silent treatments.

I am a steward of the giftts given me. I am a caretaker and owner of the gifts. I have the gifts of my body, spouse. children, money, talents as a cook, writer, therapist, preacher and pastor. I did not earn any of these. I did hone the skills and gifts I was given. I took courses, seminars and read books to improve my professional skills.

I have learned the Christian virtue of thankfulness. I am thankful for all the gifts given me, my life and wife, ears and tears, heart and art, money and honey, mind and kind, feet and meat, brains and grains, sex and love. . Everything, even pain and sadness, which make me grow and nurture.

Marriage - The person you marry is a free gift to you. You did nothing to earn that gift. It is a mystery. When you look at this person, see her or him as a gift rather than someone you earned and someone who owes you something. Some of us call this grace.

How to prepare for Advent? Read W.H. Auden's For the Time Being, a Christmas Oratorio. I have read it the weeks before Christmas for many years. It is funny, haunting and beautiful.